Perception

It has been cold lately here in Kenya and don’t get me wrong, this is definitely my kind of weather but my mood seems to be going hand in hand with it.  I want to blame the dark grey clouds at this point because it seems much easier than pointing to my thoughts as the cause. I feel heavy burdened and a tad bit lonely. The former because at this point in my life things haven’t gone the way I had planned five years back and knowing my resilient ever hopeful soul of mine that never gives up it can get weary at times. Lonely? Being somewhat of a loner it’s shocking that I can get lonely. Am human, still, and relish the occasional human presence especially if they are more of talkers than me. Mmm…. I am not one for small talk. It makes my skin crawl. I want to talk and in depth for that matter. I love the fire, weirdness and craziness of deep thinking. Most individuals I meet, though still awesome, are more inclined to small talk. It drives me nuts and I end up dissatisfied because most of the time I feeling like am trying too much in pursuit to dive into the thoughts of the other. That gets me thinking, it’s rather not them but me. They are simply matching my vibration. I am not trying to dump my negative mojo down to you, I am trying to drive the point home that I should get off this cranky horse. Quick!

In search of something to help uplift my mood I ran into this beautiful poem that got me thinking about what matters now and not then and why so. A bulb lite in my head and I savor moments like this when am spurred into new thought flow. Did it woke magic, oh yes it did. I hope it will do wonders to you too for sometimes our own sparks dim and with the help of another the embers are rekindled into a bonfire. Enjoy.
The Invitation, by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes .”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

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