So help me God

​As dusk engulfs the light

And the city lights drown out the stars, 

I struggle again with this ongoing fight.

I wish it could disappear like the sun over the mountains. 

It’s like wrestling the dark.

Futile!

Seeing it but definitely can’t feel it.

Should I stay? 

Am sick and tired of the unpredictable sway.

Like a rollercoaster, 

Some days so high and magical,

Other days depressing and cynical. 

But you never know, it can all change.

Or not! 

I wish I had the strength to go at it one last time. 

But that would be one too many.

Should I go?

My heart is thumping a big no, 

Ironic at the state it is at.

Way vast but void,

Full of light but deeply hurt. 

All my hopes and love drained while pumping into another.

Sigh! 

My mind knows better though 

I had only been a visitor in his world.

Time for me to travel back home.

Where the lights only turn on when necessary

And the night sky is like Picasso’s work of art. 

Where dawn births new hope and renews strength as the sun shines bright again. 

It’s not going to be an easy journey.

Just as Rome, it will take more than a day,

To build and rebuild. 

So help me God. 

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